Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus

Now, I am a lover of movies that are so bad that they’re good. But Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, which really exists, is so bad that it’s just plain bad. It does feature an octopus so huge and badass that it slaps a plane out of the sky with its tentacles by reaching up out of the sea, but the only thing worse than the writing is the way the crappy actors deliver their crappy lines, and the CGI budget must have been miniscule because they use the same shots of the octopus and shark over and over again. Deep Blue Sea, however, is one of mankind’s greatest achievements. At least, one of mankind’s greatest achievements available for $4.99 in the bargain bin at your local Blockbuster. It features Samuel L. Jackson getting bitten in half and L.L. Cool J tearfully reciting his secret omelet recipe into a video camera as his legacy to mankind minutes before the giant superintelligent shark busts through the door of his (flooded) kitchen. You want to see this movie.

Anyway, I finished my octopus on time, but I waited a few days to post about it in case the mother of the young recipient reads this blog. When I was doing the photo session, Pat suggested that I have some kind of oceanic background, so I grabbed my trusty Deep Blue Sea DVD and I’m pretty pleased with how this picture came out. The woman is fleeing the shark, but she’s seeing my octopus and going “uh oh…”.

Here’s a shot from earlier in the photosession:

The pattern is Octopus by Hansi Singh, who seems to be the reigning goddess of amigurumi knits. Since the toy is for a small child, I didn’t put the pipecleaners in the tentacles that would have allowed them to be all curly, but I may make another one with tentacle-curliness for our apartment. What you can’t see very well in the picture is that the red bottom is actually sparkly; I knit it with a strand of red Cascade 220 and a strand of red Lion Brand Glitterspun held together. The pattern is definitely a pain in the ass, but since it’s small it’s totally possible to finish in a day or two. The actual knitting took me about a movie and a half (Warner Herzog’s Heart of Glass and Public Enemy starring James Cagney — I don’t only watch trash, I swear) plus two episodes of M*A*S*H on DVD. The finishing took half of Public Enemy and one episode each of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. So there you go. One thing to note is that the finishing encompasses like 1/3 of the total time that it takes to make this thing. Which is kind of crazy.

I also have a progress picture of my Freeform Crochet-along piece to show you — here it is after three weeks of instructions have been followed:

Note the ugliest shamrock-in-a-horseshoe ever down there in the bottom right corner (upside-down). That part aside, I’m pretty happy with it. I decided to take it with me on my spring break trip back to NJ, which does limit my yarn choices — I brought five or six balls of yarn in the colors I’d already been using. You may notice that I added a pansy on top of that godawful spiral in the middle; this makes me very happy.

So the octopus worked out fine, but that other bad-knitting-decision that I keep alluding to is so much of a disaster that I still can’t show it to you. I knit blissfully away on it on the plane on St. Patrick’s Day after a round of beer pong, a drink in the airport bar, and a drink on the plane, and I messed it up so badly that I had to rip the whole thing out and start over. Oops. But in a few days I’ll have made enough progress again that I should have enough to show you. That is, assuming I don’t throw the whole thing out the window and decide to make something sane.

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5 thoughts on “Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus

  1. That octopus is brilliant! I love the colours you picked. I’ve been sort of wanting to knit it, but after abandoning Nessie from the same book I decided maybe amigurumi knitting wasn’t for me.

    I wish I knew how to crochet–that just looks so zany and cool.

    • Thanks! The knitting of the octopus wasn’t that bad, but the finishing was a real pain; you connect the tentacles by picking up stitches both around the tops and around the bottoms of each one. At the end of the day I think amigurumi crochet is easier, because you can do more of it all in one piece. You should learn; it’s really not that hard! As a knitter, you already know the ways of yarn and fabric, so a lot of it will be fairly intuitive. I taught myself from the Stitch N Bitch crochet book and various youtube videos.

  2. I don’t feel so weird commenting on your blog now since all the grading is done and such, but jeeze, your blog is so damn FUNNY. The pansy-godawful-spiral-coverup is bitchin’.

    • Heh, thanks. I figure people read knitting blogs for basically 2 reasons: either the writer is a designer whose work they want to follow, or the writer is damn entertaining. Since I have no hope of success in the former category, the latter is all I have left to aim for. šŸ™‚

  3. Pingback: Stashbusting in Style « doublepointed

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